A Decision

Life is a Decision. And in this point of life I’ve learned that marriage is a decision. A decision to honor when my feelings tell me to spout out a sarcastic comment. A decision to not harbor the feelings of resentment that creep in when my husband doesn’t come in when I think he should or doesn’t buy what I think he should and the list goes on.

I guess I’ve always known that life was a decision. A decision to use my money wisely, to work with integrity, to do the very best I can even when no one else is. To love even when it hurts and to turn the other cheek. Ultimately to make a moment by moment decision for Christ. To obey His commandments which is loving Him (John 14:23) and to love my neighbor as myself.

One decision I've been making is the decision to not just make my husband apart of my life but make his life mine. It's one thing to make sure his physical needs are met; give him this little section of my time here but still remain disconnected in my world. But to make his dreams my dreams, his desires, my desires, his heart, my heart. Now that takes a decision.

Yes, quite often I feel like loving my husband. To serve him, respect him and do what pleases him. But more often than not, it is my right decisions that cause me to feel like doing that.
My feelings follow my decisions.

But I can’t make this decision on my own. I find the farther I stray from God, meaning the times when I don’t seek Him continually are the times when I struggle the most to make the right decision and to do the right thing. Only by the power of God can I move forward. And when I am seeking the face of God, and trusting Him, I am loving my husband. Because loving God is the best thing I can do to love my husband.

Am I there yet? Not a chance. But that is part of God's grace.