Crying in My Pillow

I awoke from my sleep, I lay, not ready to face the day. I was overwhelmed by life itself. A constant knot of tension had resided in the pit of my stomach for days.
I couldn't take it anymore. I cried out to God. "Lord, I don't have the the strength to bear this burden anymore. I have no more love to give!" I sobbed. And in the quiet after the storm as my tears melted away I heard within me that still small voice gently question me, "So have you come to the end of yourself yet? Have you run out of your limited store of strength and your ability to love others? Are you ready to accept My boundless strength and endless love? You don't have the capacity, Anne, to love and to give endlessly apart from Me."

I rolled over and cried again, but this time it was because I knew God was right. I had once again trusted in my ability to love others, and had counted on my strength to sustain me. Yet another lesson learned the hard way.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.

Luke 10:27

Loving A Person -Sara Groves

Loving a person just the way they are, it's no small thing
It takes some time to see things through
Sometimes things change, sometimes we're waiting
We need grace either way

Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

There's a lot of pain in reaching out and trying
It's a vulnerable place to be
Love and pride can't occupy the same spaces baby
Only one makes you free

Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

If we go looking for offense
We're going to find it
If we go looking for real love
We're going to find it

If we are the Body

For the past six years I have been one of the people everyone calls crazy when I participate in a 3 ½ day bike trip that travels 300 miles from one state to another. I’ve always loved it; the people you get to know, the fun you have but most of all the dozens of life lessons you learn.
Bike trip isn’t easy. Actually if you’re not someone who exercises a lot, and if you haven’t trained enough prior to bike trip, it can be very painful. You learn perseverance, and you develop a back bone for pushing even when it hurts. You learn that you need other people, to pull you in draft lines, and to encourage you. But most important you learn that it isn’t all about you. Other people hurt, everyone struggles at some point and everyone needs encouragement and love. This is a lesson I have had to relearn year after year. This year though, I began to see this concept in a new way.
Each day we are given a Bible verse to tape on our bike to read throughout the day. The verses this year had to do with the Body of Christ.
One of the verses was 1 Corinthians 12:24b-26.

“But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”

On bike trip this needed to be our mindset. We all had a different part to play, yet we were equal, none of us were more important than another. And when one of us was hurting, we all needed to be hurting along side of them, carrying their burden. I often knew when one of the other bikers was struggling. Their legs slowed up, they peddled on alone. Their shoulders sagged in. You had at that point had a choice to make, to continue on passed them or to slow up and give them encouragement or maybe pull in front of them to break the wind.
I began thinking about it, if this is how the Body of Christ needs to operate on bike trip. And if bike trip is like life, than I have been living life all wrong. People are hurting all around us. Our own families and friends are struggling. We know it yet we fail to come along side of them, to serve them and to carry their burden. Life is hard, downright painful at times. We are human and we have a sin nature. We all sin and fall short of God’s best. We fail. As Christ’s followers we have to see the hurting people and to reach out and have compassion and love them for who they are and what they are struggling with down deep inside.
I have failed to do this so many times. I have lived for myself and for my interests and have missed the bigger picture. “But if we are the Body, why aren’t our hands reaching.”

Why should we do this?

“Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” John 13:14-15

Because Jesus did so much more.

Generations will reap what I sow.

This song really put in perspective how important it is that Christians pass on the truths of God to the next generation.
Lest we forget.

I can taste the fruit of Eve
I’m aware of sickness, death and disease
The results of our choices are vast
Eve was the first but she wasn’t the last

And if I were honest with myself
Had I been standing at that tree
My mouth and my hands would be covered with fruit
Things I shouldn’t know and things I shouldn’t see

Remind me of this with every decision
Generations will reap what I sow
I can pass on a curse or a blessing
To those I will never know

She taught me to fear the serpent
I’m learning to fear myself
And all of the things I am capable of
In my search for wisdom, acceptance and wealth

And to say that the devil made me do it
Is a cop out and a lie
The devil can’t make me do anything
When I’m calling on Jesus Christ

Remind me of this with every decision
Generations will reap what I sow
I can pass on a curse or a blessing
To those I will never know

To my great, great, great grand daughter
Live in peace
To my great, great, great grand son
Live in peace
To my great, great, great grand daughter
Live in peace
To my great, great, great grand son
Live in peace, oh, live in peace

Remind me of this with every decision
Generations will reap what I sow
I can pass on a curse or a blessing
To those I will never know

Oh, remind me
Generations will reap what I sow
I can pass on a curse or a blessing
To those I will never know
Oh, I may never know

Generations
Sara Groves

Do I love God?

God answered a prayer request today. It was something I had pretty much lost hope of being answered yet God came through. The first thing I could say was "Praise God, He is so Good!" Then I began to wonder, "do I say that He is good based on the fact that He answers my prayers or because He is as Himself is all glorious, awesome and indeed very good. Just because He is regardless wether He ever answers my prayers or not. In my heart, I had to wonder wether my love for Him was just for self-centered reasons and wether I actually loved Him for who He is.
My Dad, one time challenged me; "if everything I ever dreamed of about heaven; the beautiful colors, music, seeing the saints from long ago and knowing the family members I lost and having there being no pain or sadness; if all that was not there, but only God in His presence dwelled, would I still long for heaven?" Another way to put it would be if everthing we dreamed of was there except for God, would we even want to be there? If I can imagine enjoying a heaven without God then I'm not sure I really love Him......that my love only goes to the bounds of what He can do for me.
I remember the chorus of a Rich Mullins song titled "Brother's Keeper"

My friends ain't the way I wish they were
They are just the way they are
And I will be my brother's keeper
Not the one who judges him
I won't despise him for his weakness
I won't regard him for his strength
I won't take away his freedom
I will help him learn to stand

The love for his brother this song speaks goes beyond what that brother can do for him. It is a selfless love that does not require love in return nor good deeds to the other. No matter what, he will love his brother.

And what should my Love for God be? Certainly not a self-centered love. I headed back to God's word. It says that God is love(1 John 4:8) but what is this love?
1 Cor. 13:4-7 says
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." This is how He loves me, I know this is true.
The Bible also says "If you love me, you will obey what I command.(John 14:15) And what are His commands? If you take all the commands of God in the Bible and combine them you will find they can all be summed up with these two "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.(Luke 10:27)
The love, I believe we should have for God is just that.One that is not bound by what He does for us but as John 15:9-17 says

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17This is my command: Love each other.

What love is this? That a man would lay down his life for a friend.
Indeed, God is very Good, His name be praised.
~AGK